Self Soothing Technique

Overview

When our nervous system is over-stimulated, it is important to have some tools in your toolbox that are helpful in slowing your nervous system down and helping you get out of the fight/flight part of your brain and into the preferred part of your brain (your pre-frontal cortex).

The main thing to do when your nervous system is in overdrive is to shift which part of your brain is functioning.  If the reptile part of your brain is firing off, then the sophisticated part of your brain is literally getting less blood.  So, it may sound ridiculous, but there are a few things that you can do that will wake up your pre-frontal cortex.  After that is woken up, you will notice that the reptile brain is no longer spinning.  So, the work is NOT convincing your reptile brain that there is no threat, but shifting into a preferred part of your brain.

Some ways to shift into your pre-frontal cortex and out of your reptile brain:

1)     Math backwards:  
As yourself,  “What is 100 minus 7?”  Notice a slight pause.  Brilliant you, you come up with “93”.  Then ask yourself, “What is 93 minus 7?”.  There is a little pause – your prefrontal cortex engaging in simple math.  “86 is the answer”.  Then, “What is 86 minus 7?”  Again, minor brain pause to come up with “79”.   You do this until you go all of the way back to 0

2)     Spelling backwards:  
Look around the room and find an object that doesn’t have that many syllables and ask yourself to spell it backwards.  “Dish!  What is that backwards?”  Pause  “H…. S….I….D”.  Brilliant, you did it, now do it with 5-15 other objects.  Make sure they have only a few letters because you don’t want this exercise to be excessively irritating.

3)     Imagination:
Use your imagination to create an image that has never been created in the history of the world.  When your imagination engages, the reptile brain gets less blood and your prefrontal cortex gets the blood.  One trick I do is find an object in my office and in my mind’s eye, I make it fly somewhere.  For example, I’ve a figurine of a wooden turtle in my office.  In my mind’s eye, I’ll picture that turtle flying from my office, down the stairs, and have it fly all of the way to my house.  I’ll picture him going down the streets, cutting through the lights, making his way through the neighborhood, flying through a window and landing upstairs, then flying back. 

Now, that story is not the world’s most amazing story and nobody would ever want to watch that movie, but in the process of imagining something that has never existed in the face of the earth before, I am using my pre-frontal cortex.  It may sound dumb, but the prefrontal cortex is getting the blood and not the reptile brain.

4)     Breathing Exercises:  
There are many breathing exercises that are effective at shifting your physiological state that you are in.  I’ll share a few, but it may be helpful to understand some of the reasons they are helpful. 

Every time we inhale, we activate our sympathetic nervous system.  That is the fight/flight part of the nervous system.  Most people have their sympathetic nervous system over-stimulated.  That is why yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, etc can be helpful for most people in our culture. 

Every time we exhale, we activate our parasympathetic nervous system.  Your parasympathetic nervous system’s job is usually to relax or reduce your body’s activities. Because of the signals it carries, the rhyming phrases “rest and digest” or “feed and breed” are easy ways to remember what your parasympathetic nervous system does.  Your parasympathetic nervous system also manages the activity in organs throughout your body when you feel calm and safe.

So, breathing exercises that enhance the exhale and minimize the inhale are better for helping us chill out.  So, feel free to modify the below breathing exercises, but keep in mind that the longer the exhale is the better it will be for you.

• • 4-7-8 Breathing:  Inhale through your nose for the count of 4.  Hold your breath for the count of 7, then exhale for the count of 8.  Doing this 4 times counts as one set.  And the longer it takes you to do the 4-7-8 the better.  When you start out you may be quick, but after a while, you may count your 4-7-8 slowly.

• • “V” Breaths.  Inhale through your nose as much as you can relatively quickly and get as much oxygen as you can in your system.  Then slowly exhale through your mouth while creating a “V” sound trying to create a vibration on your diaphragm.  Experiment with tones until you find one that is relaxing and maximizes the vibration that is in your upper chest.  For me, a deep tone works better to maximize vibration.  When our chest vibrates, it sends a signal to your brain tell the rest of your body to chill out.  So, do 10-30 “V” breaths and you will likely relax your nervous system.  It takes it least 9 slow breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system for most people, so try doing 10-30 of them so you are sure to get it activated.

I’ve discovered Wim Hof and even though the guy appears kind of crazy in many ways, he has developed a breathing technique that is very powerful. 

Step 1:   Get Comfortable        

Assume a meditation posture: sitting, lying down — whichever is most comfortable for you. Make sure you can expand your lungs freely without feeling any constriction.

Step 2:   30-40 Deep Breaths

Close your eyes and try to clear your mind. Be conscious of your breath, and try to fully connect with it. Inhale deeply through the nose or mouth, and exhale unforced through the mouth. Fully inhale through the belly, then chest and then let go unforced. Repeat this 30 to 40 times in short, powerful bursts. You may experience light-headedness, and tingling sensations in your fingers and feet. These side effects are completely harmless. 

Step 3:   The Hold

After the last exhalation, inhale one final time, as deeply as you can. Then let the air out and stop breathing. Hold until you feel the urge to breathe again.

Step 4:   Recovery Breath

When you feel the urge to breathe again, draw one big breath to fill your lungs. Feel your belly and chest expanding. When you are at full capacity, hold the breath for around 15 seconds, then let go. That completes round number one. This cycle can be repeated 3-4 times without interval. After having completed the breathing exercise, take your time to bask in the bliss. This calm state is highly conducive to meditation — don’t hesitate to combine the two.

5)     Shake Your Body:
Physically Shaking every part of your body for 60 seconds.  I nickname this one “Pentecostal Dance”.  It looks weird, so don’t do this in public unless you really don’t care what you look like.  But find a place where you can shake every part of your body and do it.  60 seconds will feel like a long time, but if you do it, I can pretty much guarantee you that it will alter your physiology.  

Sometimes people can be so upset that they just don’t want to do math backwards or spell backwards, or imagine things, or do a breathing exercise, but they are able to do something physical.  The physical shaking can make a big impact on altering your nervous system out of a fight/flight hypervigilance response.

6)     Hold an Ice-Cube:
Info to be added

7)     Physical Interventions:
Run around the block.  Exercise (Push-ups, Sit ups, Jumping Jacks… get the body active)

8)     Worthy Mantra:
Info to be added